I Won!

I don't think I've ever won anything in my life. Except the love of my husband. And I still marvel at how blessed I am to be loved by him. But enough of the mushy stuff.

The rest of my (immediate) family has never won anything either--to my knowledge. There seems to be some great conspiracy against us all which keeps us from ever winning any of the sweepstakes, contests, or competitions that we enter. Publisher's Clearing House? Nothing doing. HGTV Dream Home Contest? It's like my dad never even sat at his computer every day and entered the appropriate amount of times. Free pizza from the local pizzeria? We should have saved ourselves the few bucks that it cost to buy the raffle tickets. The lottery? Well, I suppose it's a bit difficult to win that one when you don't play (except for the days when it's really, really, really high and then Seth buys $5 worth of tickets . . . because he has a much better chance of winning when the rest of the world is also playing?).

Perhaps it's God's way of keeping us humble. Although if that were true, then surely there's been a mixup in my winning the Coolest Coworker Contest from the local Christian radio station (which I don't even listen to--but shh, that will be our secret). Granted, it was based on a random drawing and has nothing whatsoever to do with my actual status as a cool coworker (or lack thereof).

Every Monday for the past few weeks, coworker Roger has reminded several of us to enter the contest, figuring that one of us has to win one of these times. His lovely email would go something like this: "Initiate operation Chicken Sandwich http://www.mystar933.com/." And I would faithfully enter after receiving his prompting.

After entering Monday last (thank you recent viewings of Jane Austen), I received a call from the radio station on Friday informing me that I'd just won lunch from Chick-Fil-A for me and 29 of my coworkers. So, tomorrow we will be feasting on nuggets and sandwiches compliments of the Christian Chicken Place and Star 93.3. If you'd like to hear the promo spot that I had to do for the radio station (thankfully, I didn't have to say "Star 93.3 is my favorite radio station ever"), you can listen online for a bit.

Who knew that real people actually do win such contests after all?

The Opposite of Inspiration

After the previous inspirational post, I'm moving on to this completely non-inspirational video. I laugh out loud every time I watch this one. Seriously. Poor girl, such as.

Inspiration

Every once in a while, it's nice to reflect on what is good and right with America . . . er, Britain. A coworker pointed me to this video of Paul Potts, a warehouse-worker-turned-opera-singer-wannabe, in an episode of Britain's Got Talent. I get goosebumps every time I watch it. Seriously.

Hollywood and Hollers

The following news report came from PA friend Andrea. Apparently Hollywood believes that holler dwellers are a bunch of inbred miscreants who can't tell their right from their left. However, if Julianne Moore and her crew could come visit our delightful holler, she would surely see that not all holler dwellers were created equally.

For example, just because our neighbor has 19 automobiles (or parts of automobiles) sitting in his yard, three of which actually run, does not mean this is your stereotypical holler. And just because we have five automobiles, three of which run . . . wait, scratch that, we're down to two . . . and one of which belongs to younger BIL Ethan, sitting in our yard outside the pole barn and car port area, does not mean that we fit the stereotype.

Just because two of our neighbors are currently fueding (and have been for the past 7 years) does not mean we're the same as every other holler. And just because our neighbor's horses sometimes escape from their barns and meander over to our yard to munch on our grass and leave nice deposits on our front porch, again, does not make one think one lives in a holler.

Just because the deer have beat a path from the woods to the creek through our yard doesn't mean all hollers are the same. And just because we bathe in rainwater and are the last to see the light of the snowplow after a snowstorm doesn't mean we should be lumped in with all other holler dwellers.

On second thought . . . Maybe we should just throw Hollywood stereotypes to the wind and embrace our holler-dom. Yeah, I think that's what we'll do. Power to the holler people!

CHARLESTON, W.Va. * Gov. Joe Manchin and others took offense Tuesday to a planned scene from an upcoming film starring Julianne Moore that they say stereotypes West Virginians as inbreeds and carnival sideshows. The horror thriller "Shelter" is recruiting extras with unusual physical features for a scene in a "West Virginia holler," according to Donna Belajac Casting of Pittsburgh. The casting call said the film is looking for extras who are extraordinarily tall or short, those with unusual body shapes and unusual facial features, especially eyes, and even people with physical abnormalities as long as they have normal mobility.

"It's clear that they have no real understanding of who the people of West Virginia are," Manchin said. "And that's not only unfortunate, but in this case offensive. Certainly it doesn't sound like a movie worth watching." Casting agency director Donna Belajac told the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review on Monday that the announcement was not meant to stereotype people from West Virginia."We tried to word it in a way that's not offensive," she told the newspaper. "I hope it's not an offensive thing. It's not meant to be a generalization about everyone in West Virginia. That's why we put that it's in a 'holler' in the mountains."

The company's Web site specifies the scene as a "West Virginia holler." The casting call also prompted criticism from U.S. Reps. Shelley Moore Capito, R-W.Va., and Nick Rahall, D-W.Va.; U.S. Sen. Robert C. Byrd, D-W.Va., and Cecil E. Roberts, president of the United Mine Workers union."Why must it be automatically assumed by the surgically enhanced 'beautiful people' who populate Hollywood that those who live in the hills and hollows of places like West Virginia are all afflicted with physical abnormalities?" Roberts said."For the producers of this movie to issue such a blatantly insulting and demeaning casting call is not just a slap in the face to tens of thousands of West Virginians, but to millions of Americans who may not fit the 'norm' of Hollywood beauty," Roberts said.

Capito said West Virginians "are owed an apology for such careless and blatant stereotyping." Byrd said, "Unfortunately, some in the filmmaking industry have decidedthat perpetuating stereotypes and insulting generations of West Virginians means cash at the box office."

"It harkens back to a dark time in our nation's history when flimflam artists roamed the country making a quick buck with traveling 'freak' shows, displaying human beings who may have different bodily characteristics, in darkened cages," Roberts said. "I believe our society has progressed past that point--maybe not in Hollywood, but it has in other, more enlightened parts of America."

Co-Main Event?

Seth is watching the lastest UFC offering on tape. After hearing that Matt "The Terra" Serra was fighting, I suggested to Seth that his UFC name could be Seth "The Beth" or Seth "The Meth," neither of which thrilled Seth. What rhymes with Seth, though? Later, I suggested he adopt an already-taken name: McLovin'. Again my offerings were met with disdain. I'm beginning to think that Seth is destined to remain UFC nameless.

It amuses me to hear after every fight the winner proudly proclaim, "I'm thankful to God." Thankful for what? That you beat your opponent (one who is also created in the image of God) to a bloody pulp? That you punched him in the gut, bashed his nose in, and then put him in a rear naked choke that brought him to his knees? I'm willing to give most of them the benefit of the doubt and suggest that perhaps they really don't understand what they're saying--after all, this is only the fifth concussion they've suffered this year.

The other thing that amused me with this UFC (not that I was watching--I was reading Reader's Digest) is that they had a co-main event. A co-main event? You can't have a co-main event. An event is either the main event or it's not. There's no such thing as a co-main event. Well, apparently there is in UFC land. Again I say: which of them hasn't been affected by a concussion?

The End of An Era

We all knew the day was coming. Well, everyone except Superphone, that is. And come that day finally did.

Last Thursday, without any guilt or remorse, Seth switched carriers and ordered Uberphone. And seemingly without any conscience, when it arrived, he proceeded to check out Uberphone's cool features (including its many and varied polyphonic ring tones--Superphone had only two annoyingly obnoxious ring tones from which to choose) right in front of Superphone. I could almost hear its quiet, heartbroken sobs as it finally realized it was being replaced by a newer, better cell phone with a cheaper, better carrier.

After Seth transferred the numbers from Superphone to Uberphone, there was nothing left for Superphone to do except be relegated to the pile of other unused cell phones. Sadly, however, due to Superphone's blob, I don't think even the recycling place will want Superphone.

Let's all pause for a few moments of silence in respect for the demise of Superphone. And then join me in wishing it the best as it goes to be with the Great Cell Phone in the Sky. It truly is the end of an era.