One of the
strategies taught in education courses is to tell the student what to do rather
than just saying what not to do. For instance, instead of saying, “Don’t run,”
it is better to say “Walk.” Once this lesson is internalized, the teacher
automatically looks for what the student should do and tries to articulate it.
It’s not that we would eliminate the negative from our vocabulary; it’s just
that we would take it a step further to make sure the student knew what the
correct thing to do was.
So when
walking down the hallway, a teacher wouldn’t want the child leaning against the
wall and breaking up all the bulletin board displays or ruining the threads in
the shirt because of rubbing the rough surface. I would teach my students to
look at the linoleum squares on the floor, count over three, and try to stay in
that row all the way down in the hallway. I’d encourage them to stand up
straight instead of leaning on the wall, telling them that the wall had stayed
up without their help for thirty years and they really didn’t need to support
it. And I’d remind them to walk on their own feet and not on the feet of the
person in front.
In the
classroom, instead of stopping with “That’s not a complete sentence,” it was
“Remember to tell me who did what,” and “What is missing in this sentence?”
This strategy comes in handy as a parent (or
grandparent) as well. One of our grandchildren has difficulty remembering to
place his cup where it won’t easily be spilled. Admonishing him not to spill
his milk wasn’t enough to produce the desired result. So GrandBob gave him a
coaster on which to place the cup, and then reminded him to place the cup on
it.
Interestingly
enough, the Bible is full of examples of this principle. Paul didn't just say, "don't lie," he encouraged truth-telling. Instead of stealing, work with your hands and give to others.
Instead of worrying, cast your concerns on Him. Instead of complaining, give thanks.
This is
not a new principle. The Bible says in 2 Timothy 3:16 “All Scripture is
God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in
righteousness, so that the man (person) of God may be thoroughly equipped for
every good work.”
Teaching: Telling me what the path is
Rebuking: Showing where I strayed from the path
Correcting:
Showing
me how to get back on the path
Training: Continuing to do the above three to make it
my lifestyle
I’ll be
the first to admit that I tend to be more negative when I am tired or
frustrated. But I try to remind myself to continue on to the positive and give
specific steps for correcting the situation. There are many examples of ways we
can teach by showing what it is we expect without always focusing on the
negative.
