Embracing pretentiousness (a giveaway)

Update: We have a winner! Congratulations to Lisa D. on winning the Outback gift card! And thanks to everyone who entered the "sweepstakes"! If I had lots of money or lots of companies giving me stuff to giveaway, I would do this again, but since I have neither, this will probably be a one-time deal. And, in case you were wondering, we usually stop by the Outback after we donate a pint of blood -- it's the way we "reward" ourselves for doing good.
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Since so many of you (or maybe just Marcia and Renee,) let me know that you'd still like the opportunity to win a restaurant gift certificate, pretentiousness aside, I asked my sister to reconsider her feelings on blog giveaways. Not that I need her permission on what to blog about or on whether to hold a giveaway, but I thought it might help keep the family peace to ask her to give me a piece of her mind. 

 

 My sister with Cael who is wearing the Christmas gift she gave to Kieran

After some back and forth, Kenda decided that since the prentiousness was already out there and everyone knew that I knew that they knew why blogs host giveaways, she would give me her blessing. (Although I do disagree with her somewhat on the motivation behind blog giveaways. My understanding is that many giveaways are to promote a product or promote the blog itself, not just to find out who reads the blog. But I digress.) 

And so I looked into what it would take to host a giveaway and found that there were way too many rules and regulations for such things and decided that I wouldn't do it after all.

 

And then I decided that I would not be intimidated by the FTC and would do a "sweepstakes" just this once, just for the fun of it. And so I found a gift certificate to a favorite restaurant of mine at the kiosk in Kroger, purchased it, and am now happy to be offering a $25 gift card to Outback Steakhouse to one providentially blessed winner. Aren't you excited?

 

To win, just leave your name, a way to contact you (if I don't know you personally), and a nice comment (about me or your family member or your cat or your friend or your boss) in the comment section of this post (not on Facebook because Facebook has rules against such things) and on Friday, January 18, 2013 at 10:00pm (EST), I'll randomly choose one (1) winner from those who have entered. You will not receive any extra entries if you Tweet this post or share this link on any social media platform because I'm really not doing this to publicize the blog and really am doing it just for fun. However, you will receive fake extra bonus points in my mind if you know on what occasion I usually stop by Outback Steakhouse and post that in your comment.

 

Please only enter once and please make sure you're over 18 years old and live in the U.S. Please also know that you need to purchase absolutely nothing to enter or win. All the other rules and regulations that they talk about here apply, plus any others that I'm not aware of at the moment but should be aware of so that I don't get sued by anyone or fined by the FTC. Outback Steakhouse is not in any way responsible for this post -- I purchased the gift card with my own hard-earned dollars, although it would have been nice if they just gave me a couple gift cards -- one to give away and, of course, one to keep for myself, so that I could buy some Aussie fries.

 

And now, may the best (or most random) person win!

"What can you do for me?"

At some point in the past, I read in one of the magazines that arrive at my house (Reader's Digest? Better Homes and Gardens? American Rifleman?) this bit of sage advice: To get a better deal on something, ask the salesperson, "What can you do for me?"

I'm not really a negotiator or the type that goes looking for the best possible deal on every single thing, but I've kept that bit of wisdom tucked in the corner of my mind, waiting for an opportune moment, should it ever arrive.

Today, that moment arrived.

In the interest of saving money, I've been tossing around the idea of canceling our DIRECTV service and just watching the few programs we do watch on the Internet. But what has stopped me from doing so is this: The NFL Sunday Ticket that is only available from DIRECTV. (Priorties, people.)

I'm not sure how Seth would handle autumnal Sunday afternoons without being able to watch a Steelers game. Or a Lions game. Or a Bengals game. (Oh wait, no one watches Bengals games -- do they?)

So I haven't yet pulled the plug on our service.

We've been getting fliers in the mail regaling us with deals for new DIRECTV customers. They've made me a bit jealous because we've been customers since 2005, and therefore don't have access to those deals. So, today, I pulled out that bit of sagacity mentioned above and gave the folks at DIRECTV a call.

I explained who I was, mentioned that we'd been loyal customers for quite some time and that I had been receiving fliers advertising better deals than what we currently had, and asked, "So, what can you do for me?"

And the guy I spoke with was more than happy to help. He asked me what my budgeting goal was and then proceeded to take $20 off our monthly bill so that I could meet that goal (maybe I should have gone even lower . . .). And then, he gave me the NFL Sunday Ticket for FREE if we agreed to a 12-month service contract, which of course I was happy to do. Free football in the fall--what more could a gal ask for?

Wow. Now I'm asking myself which other services I can call -- the mortgage company (HA!)? the electric company? the trash company? Maybe I'll give them all a call!

(Note: This post has not in any way been paid for or sponsored by DIRECTV, unless you count the $20 monthly discount they gave me.)

And, for those who only read this blog so they can see cute pictures of the kids, here's a picture from snacktime tonight.

Twist Ties -- A Confessional

I have a confession to make.

I don't like twist ties.

You know -- the kind that hold bags of bread closed. I find myself annoyed by those small pieces of metal. What does that say about me? (It's a rhetorical question--don't answer it.)

The first thing I do when opening a new bread bag, after spending five minutes trying to get the tie undone only to realize I've been turning it the wrong way the entire time, is throw it away.  I don't have time to spend messing with those things. It's so much easier to just twist the bag itself closed (slighly smashing the end pieces of the bread loaf, but never mind that part) and wrap the end under the bread, thus sealing it even better than the twist tie would have anyway.

I suppose if I were the crafty sort (and if I had a lot of extraneous time on my hands and if I were into gaming), I could make things like this out of the discarded ties. Or, if I were the OT sort, I could find ways to use them with Kieran to help with his fine motor development. But I'm neither of those things. And so into the garbage can go the thin wires, off to spend their remaining days languishing among the rotting banana peels and stinky tuna cans.

Oh wait. I recycle, so there aren't any tuna cans in my garbage. And I sometimes compost, so there are no banana peels in the trash to keep a twist tie company. Just those empty bread bags around which it once found its purpose and meaning in life. Ironic, isn't it?

And while we're on the subject of twist ties, I'm prompted to ratiocinate on how those ties get on the bread bags in the first place. What lucky person gets the job of twisting strings of metal around plastic bags? And how do they keep from getting carpal tunnel syndrome?

And finally, by the way of another confessional, if we've ever visited you and you've wondered, "Where have all the twist ties on my bread loaves gone?" Well, now you know . . . .

So tell me, how do you feel about twist ties?

Rewriting history

In my spare time, I enjoy playing a friendly game of Scrabble on Facebook. My main opponents are sisters-in-law. For me, it's not really about the competition but about keeping my brain active and giving me something to think about other than diaper changes and therapy appointments.

With some of the games, we like to add an extra brain-boost by using the word(s) played in a sentence in the chat box. In a few instances, those sentences have turned into stories. I just finished a game with SIL Rose in which we, somehow, ended up rewriting history. It went a little something like this:

(S) Once upon a time, George Washington chopped down a cherry tree with an ADZ . . .

(R) All the FEMales nearby were very impressed.

(S) From the wood, he made a beautifully ornate SALVER on which he served ....

(R) roasted HEN with sage.

(S) This went well with the filleted COBIAS he pulled from the Delaware River, while he was crossing it,

(R) And thanks to that FABulous wool coat he wore...

(S) he was, anachronistically, WIRED and able to communicate quite well with his troops.

(R) It was a change from the GO-GO boots he was used to wearing.

(S) Ah, but he loved those boots, as did Martha -- she found they really got his MOJO going

(R) --which he needed since that cold cold trip across the Delaware really made his nose fill up with SNOT.

(S) "Martha, my dear," he said with a GLEAM in his eye, "Don't you think it's time for ..

(R) you to take a few TURNS walking the dog after dark?"

(S) "Oh, dear Georgie," said Martha, "Don't be such a nAG. You know I don't like walking the dogs because...

(R) of the TAXER it is on my poor back. If only...

(S) I had a few QUID TI pay a lAD to walk them for me . Do you think you could work some overtime so we can pay a dogwalker, my dear?"

(R) "But Martha, my dear, you know I'd rather smoke a STOGEY than earn extra to pay for dogey."

(S) "Oh, George, you're such a romantic POET. Do it again, if you can."

(R) Then said George, "My hair is thick. I keep it SLICK. The fleas I flick before they stick."

(S) Martha, grossed out by George's latest poem, ran blindly into a QUAGmire of sand, just outside their house.

(R) George thought her to be a bit NAIVE as to the realities of life, so he shrugged his shoulders and said, "If freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."

(S) While George was waxing eloquent and making speeches that would eventually find their way into the history books, Martha was looking for something that would help her HOVER above the sand. She finally found ...

(R) a 5 foot length of homespun wool wound AROUND a nearby branch lying next to George's axe.

(S)"Pray, THEE, my dear, please stop pontificating and start helping me by pulling me out of this quag with that wool."

(R) "PEW! That quag smells like PE! Grab hold quickly, Martha dear! I'll rescue you."

(S)"Thanketh thou. How MANY times do you think you'll have to rescue me in the future, GW?"

(R) "Let us not beLABor the point. I shall never reLAX as long as my dearest Martha needs rescuing....or our country."

(S)"The country--wION earth is it always about TI country!?! What about me? What about my needs?"

(R) "Quite frankly, my dear, and it KIlls me to say this..."

(S)"Wait, Georgio, don't say ID. After all, you're about 200 years too early to be saying such a line."

800

This is my 800th blog post. That seems like a lot of posts, don't you think? Have I really had 800 posts-worth of things to say? Apparently so.

I'll celebrate by posting a few shots of my funny, loving family.

Kieran finally decided to try on the 3-D glasses my dad brought home after watching Transformers 3-D.

Cael hasn't quite perfected his "photo face."

Just the four of us

My parents and their favorite grandsons (they only have 2)

Where have I been?

It looks like I'm several years late in finding these guys, but better late than never, I always (and I mean always) say.

The Sound of Music

Seth would hate this video. He has an inordinate distaste for all things Sound of Music, which he claims comes from the repeated viewings of the film forced upon him by his sisters and mother through the years. That, and he dislikes any movie that features people dancing about and singing.

However, it brought a smile to my face, and I hope it does the same to yours.

For the football lovers

Thanks to Ruth for sending this our way.

The best medicine

If this video doesn't make you laugh, I'd suggest an appointment at the doctor's to get your funny bone checked.

25 Random Things About Me

There's a list going around Facebook in which you list 25 random things about yourself and then post it for your friends to see. Here's my list for those of you not on Facebook:

1. I was born four weeks late. I'm still perpetually late for things.
2. I've visited the White House.
3. I don't like mornings.
4. I used to brush my teeth with my sister's tooth brush just to annoy her (she was paranoid about people touching her stuff). I also tried to give her pinkeye by rubbing my face in her towel. I was a great big sister.
5. I'd like to raise chickens and alpacas someday. I'd also like to own a Christmas tree farm.
6. I've snorkeled in the Great Barrier Reef.
7. I've never broken any bones in my body.
8. I majored in biology and psychology in college, but ended up writing and editing for my profession.
9. I've been to the top of the Eiffel Tower and have seen the Firth of Forth.
10. I don't like movies that are based on reality or movies with bad guys that are unstoppable (e.g., Terminator, Dark Knight).
11. I hope I don't die by drowning or suffocation.
12. My name is a reversal of a four-generation family name, Anastasia, and means "resurrection."
13. I love the sound of rain on our roof.
14. I don't really like to cook and am glad I married a man who does.
15. I once stayed in a nunnery in Germany.
16. World War II is my least favorite period of history.
17. I don't drink coffee, but I love the smell of it.
18. I dislike my nose.
19. I once taught a rat to play ball.
20. I must shower every day--even when I'm camping.
21. I'm not athletic, and I especially hate running. I tried out for the volleyball team in school but didn't make it. So, I kept stats for the school's girls basketball and softball teams.
22. I love any type of fruit in any incarnation.
23. I don't like emptying the dishwasher or putting away laundry (although I don't mind folding it).
24. I've donated over two gallons of my blood (not all at one time).
25. I like to think that sarcasm is a spiritual gift.

And I thought I was verbose . . .

The Golden Bull Awards for 2008 have been announced. Golden Bulls are dispensed annually by the Plain English Campaign, an organization quartered in England but with members in more than 80 countries. Describing itself as "an independent pressure group fighting for public information to be written in plain English," the Campaign presents awards for what it considers the best and worst examples of English.

And the winner is this little gem from the Financial Services team at McGill University in Montreal:

Our collective success rests with our commitment to service excellence and ongoing process improvement. As such, there will be an increased focus in two pivotal areas, namely: Systems Infrastructure & Communications and Controls & Compliance. This new structure will positively impact the delivery of day-to-day functions for our students and professors thanks to the continuous improvement cycle that will be generated by the new structure. This cycle will inherently deliver an incessant flow of process and systems assessment, improvement, and communication with the related development, distribution, and implementation of necessary tools, education, and support. This will in turn maximize user comprehension and increase overall efficiency.

Sure to stir up controversy

This post is for the Calvinists in the crowd (non-TULIP-lovers can stop reading now :o). Enjoy (or not).

What was that?

I found this amusing assortment of quotes by celebrities on the ABCNews site. They made me laugh.

"I love religion. I remember whenever the book "The Da Vinci Code" came out, the Discovery Channel did this three-night piece on it that I TiVoed and then watched eight times."
- Jessica Simpson in 2009, Marie Claire magazine

"When I pictured heroin, I pictured some crazy crackhead with no shoes under a bridge. You never think that is going to be you. And it never was me. I was never under a bridge, and I always had shoes."
- Nicole Richie, 2007, Nylon magazine

"I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman."
- Arnold Schwarzenegger, 2003, in an interview with radio host Sean Hannerty during the California gubernatorial campaign

"So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?"
-Christina Aguilera, 2000, to the cast of "Saturday Night Live" backstage

"All of a sudden you're like the Bin Laden of America. Osama bin Laden is the only one who knows what I'm going through."
-R. Kelly, 2003, after a court hearing on charges of child pornography

"I think the 'Clueless' movie was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."
-Alicia Silverstone, 2000 to the Sunday Telegraph. She was nominated for Britain's annual Foot in Mouth award, honoring the celebrity who makes the most baffling verbal statement.

"I get to go overseas places, like Canada."'
-Britney Spears in 1999, to the Toronto Star, when asked about the perks of fame

"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
-- Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece in 1994 to Sports Illustrated

"It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people."
-Axl Rose of Guns N' Roses, 1989, Rolling Stone

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
- Dan Quayle, Sept. 15, 1988 during a press conference in Moore, Okla., in answer to a question on the Holocaust

100 Things

Thanks, Jen, for posting this list--the bolded ones are those that I've done.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disney World/Disney Land
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

I've Done It!

You may or may not know that Seth does not, by his own admission, read blogs--mine included. I'm not sure when or where his aversion to blogs began, but it now sits firmly entrenched in his mind. However, this evening, as I was browsing Blogger's "Blogs of Note," I stumbled upon Cake Wrecks, and within minutes had him hooked and laughing at the terrible cakes along with me. I didn't dare mention that he was reading a blog, as it might have spoiled the moment(s). Hopefully you'll enjoy the site as much as we (Seth included) did.

Laughing at the Greenies

Don't get me wrong, I'm all about being a good steward of the earth (following the command of God to Adam and Eve in the beginning). We recycle, I use environmentally friendly cleaning products, I buy organic (when I can--small town grocery stores don't tend to offer a wide variety of organic products), I compost, I collect water for my gardens in rainbarrels, I use reusable totes so I can save baby turtles from certain doom, and I'm planning on diapering Kieran with cloth diapers (although I haven't convinced Seth of the efficacy of that just yet).

However, I believe there needs to be a balance between good stewardship and hugging trees (which aren't even biblically "alive") and "minizing your carbon footprint." So when we watched this interview between Stephen Colbert (The Colbert Report) and Carl Pope, executive director of the Sierra Club, I laughed the loudest and the longest that I've laughed in a long time. Seth was also busting a gut during this interview. I post it here for your viewing pleasure (warning: it's a bit over-the-top in some places--if I could edit it, I would).

My Thoughts Exactly

Dave Barry on the Economic Stimulus Payment:

This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.
(Source: Miami Herald)

I Won!

I don't think I've ever won anything in my life. Except the love of my husband. And I still marvel at how blessed I am to be loved by him. But enough of the mushy stuff.

The rest of my (immediate) family has never won anything either--to my knowledge. There seems to be some great conspiracy against us all which keeps us from ever winning any of the sweepstakes, contests, or competitions that we enter. Publisher's Clearing House? Nothing doing. HGTV Dream Home Contest? It's like my dad never even sat at his computer every day and entered the appropriate amount of times. Free pizza from the local pizzeria? We should have saved ourselves the few bucks that it cost to buy the raffle tickets. The lottery? Well, I suppose it's a bit difficult to win that one when you don't play (except for the days when it's really, really, really high and then Seth buys $5 worth of tickets . . . because he has a much better chance of winning when the rest of the world is also playing?).

Perhaps it's God's way of keeping us humble. Although if that were true, then surely there's been a mixup in my winning the Coolest Coworker Contest from the local Christian radio station (which I don't even listen to--but shh, that will be our secret). Granted, it was based on a random drawing and has nothing whatsoever to do with my actual status as a cool coworker (or lack thereof).

Every Monday for the past few weeks, coworker Roger has reminded several of us to enter the contest, figuring that one of us has to win one of these times. His lovely email would go something like this: "Initiate operation Chicken Sandwich http://www.mystar933.com/." And I would faithfully enter after receiving his prompting.

After entering Monday last (thank you recent viewings of Jane Austen), I received a call from the radio station on Friday informing me that I'd just won lunch from Chick-Fil-A for me and 29 of my coworkers. So, tomorrow we will be feasting on nuggets and sandwiches compliments of the Christian Chicken Place and Star 93.3. If you'd like to hear the promo spot that I had to do for the radio station (thankfully, I didn't have to say "Star 93.3 is my favorite radio station ever"), you can listen online for a bit.

Who knew that real people actually do win such contests after all?

The Opposite of Inspiration

After the previous inspirational post, I'm moving on to this completely non-inspirational video. I laugh out loud every time I watch this one. Seriously. Poor girl, such as.

Inspiration

Every once in a while, it's nice to reflect on what is good and right with America . . . er, Britain. A coworker pointed me to this video of Paul Potts, a warehouse-worker-turned-opera-singer-wannabe, in an episode of Britain's Got Talent. I get goosebumps every time I watch it. Seriously.