Do you talk about him?

Although we haven't settled on one particular educational partnership for our boys, one of the main reasons I'm drawn to the idea of teaching them--or at least Kieran--at home is that the thought of him being bullied at school hurts my heart.

I hear stories from parents of children with Williams syndrome about how their child has been teased, and the mainstream news outlets have recently been filled with the tragic outcomes of bullying, and it all makes me sad. I feel for the ones being bullied and the parents who watch it happen. And I think to myself, "If I can keep him home and (relatively) safe from that type of treatment, why wouldn't I?"

Now, I know there are lots of factors that go into choosing an educational partnership but discussing them isn't the intent of this particular post. Instead, I have a question for you:

Hypothetically, if we were to send to Kieran to school (or to your house or your church) and your child were a peer of Kieran's, would s/he act unkindly toward Kieran because he is "different"?

Before you answer, "Oh, no way, we don't tolerate bullies in my house," let me ask you another question.


Have you talked about him with your children?

Not in a "Hush, he's fine, don't talk about him" kind of way or even in a, "Just be nice, mmmk?" kind of way, but intentionally and purposefully, explaining why he might seem different to them?

Although we like to think of children as inherently kind-hearted and willing to love others no matter what, the truth is that each one of us is born with a sad tendency to look out for Number One (it's called our sin nature--Romans 3:23). So we need to continually be developing in them the right way to view people and praying that the Holy Spirit will apply the truths from His Word to their young hearts and give them a love for others.

If I could sit down with your kids and talk about Kieran with them, this is what I would say (see here for a fuller explanation):

Hey--you know how sometimes you might think Kieran is a bit different from you? Let me tell you something special about him. God made him just the way He wants him to be with a condition that we call Williams syndrome. God loves being creative, and He loves that each of His creations is different and special.

But no matter how different we might think someone is from us, we can know that God makes every single person--you and me and Kieran-- in His very own image. That makes us all very special and valuable. And it's OK that he's a bit different from you because that's the way God made him. 

Remember how way back in the beginning, God created a beautiful world that He said was "very good" (Genesis 1)? What happened after that? . . . Adam and Eve disobeyed God's command and, as a result of their sin, God placed a curse on His beloved Creation (Genesis 3).

Because we're all children of Adam and Eve, this curse has affected all of us in different ways. And part of the way it has affected Kieran shows in some of the differences you've seen. He needs a little bit more help in some areas. It's so great of God to give us opportunities to learn to help others, isn't it? He wants us to take special care of those who might be a bit different from us and to help them as much as we can (e.g., Proverbs 31:8, Luke 14:13-14). 

In fact, God wants us to be a champion for those who need special help--a champion stands up for them and fights for them and helps them with whatever they need. Do you think you could be a champion for Kieran? Like a knight on a white horse for him?

Take a look at these two videos--how are the kids in these videos acting like champions for those who needed a bit more help?  

Wasn't it encouraging to see how those other kids helped the ones who needed help? 

Another way that we can help Kieran is in the way you talk to him and about him. Sometimes you might want to tease him for things he can't do or the way he does things differently. But remember--each of us is created in the image of God and God wants us to be kind to every person (Ephesians 4:32). And, because each of us is an image-bearer of the Creator, when we tease someone, it's the same as if we're teasing the Creator and calling Him names (James 3:9). 

But even more than the differences you might see with him, there are lots of ways that he's similar to you. We've already talked about how he's an image-bearer of the Creator, just like you are. But he also likes to look at books and ride his bike and he loves eating Cheetos. One really neat thing about many people with Williams syndrome is that they love music--Kieran loves music. He loves listening to music and, I bet if you asked him, he would tell you his current favorite song and maybe you could sing it together with him. He also loves to play hide-and-seek and really enjoys laughing. 

I love being with my Kieran, and I know that if you take some time with him and find out what he likes and doesn't like, I bet you'll enjoy being with him, too."

My friend Georgia has taken the time to talk on multiple occasions with her daughter about Kieran, and it shows in the way Elizabeth interacts with him. She knows that he wanders and needs to be watched and will keep an eye on him at church. When she came to spend the day with us a few months ago, she brought pony beads and pipe cleaners so that she could make bracelets with Kieran and, in the process, help him with his fine motor practice.

And the way she understands and cares for Kieran has carried over into the way she cares for other children with special needs at her school. She sits with the girl with disabilities at lunch and helps her in class and at recess.

That makes my heart so happy. That's what it's about--teaching our kids (and ourselves) to see everyone (not just Kieran) as image-bearers.

If you haven't talked with your kids about Kieran (or whomever you know who has a disability of any type--mental, emotional, physical, speech, cognitive . . . the list goes on) in this way, will you? Please?